Peace and love to you all.
My apologies for the several days between posts. It's been challenging to find the time or motivation as we adjust to life as a trio rather than a quartet. Little things like figuring out taxes, changing accounts over from Dad to Mom, and the almost-literal mountain of thank-yous we need to send out have consumed a lot of our time, to say nothing of actually going back to work. It's been difficult, I won't lie. Trying to get back to a sort of routine is tough when part of that routine just isn't here anymore. I still - and will for a while - find myself going upstairs to share something fun with Dad only to realize he's not sitting in his office and won't be again. Mom has gotten back to work and driven herself rather than have Dad drive her every day. Little things remind us of where we are at now. All this is to say that we are hanging in there. We aren't necessarily thriving, but we're laughing and hugging and cooking (an EXCELLENT pan-roasted duck last night, if I can toot my own horn) and simply living. However, you are all hurting too and I know that the stories about my dad can help you as well as us, so I will try to be more diligent about maintaining a schedule. I'll leave you today with a quote that seems to fit nicely. "There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." Aeschylus
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Peace and love to you all.
Not every memory here is going to be this long, extensive historical record of our time with my dad. Sometimes, like today, there are just little fun memories that come up and stick around. This was a few summers ago here in Fargo and Dad, Adam, and I were running errands. Getting gas, picking up groceries, that sort of thing. Well, it just so happened that Dad needed to wash his car, so we went to the nearest car wash and started the process. Now, there are two things to note here. First, as I said, it was summer. And a hot one at that. I know that typically, and for good reason, North Dakota is seen as an icy scape of endless snow and cold. This is not an unfair description in winter. However, during the summer, we can absolutely crest the 90–100-degree mark in temperature, so we get some nice time to boil like lobsters before getting tossed back in the freezer. This particular day was one of those hot, sticky, 'stay inside with a cool lemonade' kind of days. We were, to put it mildly, all already a bit annoyed at the heat. The other thing to note is that while some carwashes, especially more modern ones, have the ability to just put your car in neutral and let it keep running as you go through, this particular station was more old-school. This meant that the car had to be completely shut off and placed in park. As a result, the ride through the carwash felt less like a quick diversion from the day and more like we had been sealed in a sarcophagus and buried in Ancient Egypt. Dad and I, sitting in the front seats, groused and complained, but we heard no word from Adam. Just when we had settled, though, a small, tired voice came from the back seat. "Too hot. Gonna die." It took a moment for things to register and then Dad started to giggle. Not burst into uproarious laughter - giggle. This swept through the car until all three of us were in fits of laughing as we approached the exit of the carwash. Once Dad turned the car back on, we were met with a wave of blessedly cool air and the strange, almost-surreal moment was gone. What can we take away from this? Simple: that there is the potential for joy and laughter and moments of happiness, even in dark or uncomfortable times. There have been tears and sad moments over the past month and those will come again, but there have been times of laughter and love and connection and those are what I choose to hold onto in the darker nights. We can find happiness with each other and through God. I'll leave you with another verse today, this time about joy in times of pain. James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Peace and love to you all.
I want to use this blog to continue to share memories and thoughts of Randy, even though he has gone on to his eternal rest. So, I'm going to keep doing just that! A memory that has come to mind recently, and I shared it in the eulogy at the celebration of life service, is that of the relationship of my dad and sports cards. See, when he was still a local pastor in Fargo (at Faith UMC), he would work Sundays because, you know, being a pastor. As a result, his 'day off' would be Monday instead. Like clockwork, every Monday after I got out of kindergarten or first or second grade, Dad would hop in his old silver pickup (which has several stories in and of itself), drive to school with my brother in the middle seat, pick me up, and we would drive a few blocks north to the Hornbacher's in North Fargo. However, we weren't interested in the food at that time. We went behind the building to Big Nick's Sports Cards. I can still remember the smell and the lighting of that store. We would go in and look over the rows and rows of boxes of sports and other cards and then we would get to pick a few packs that Dad would buy! We started with things like Marvel cards but graduated soon to basketball. This was in the days before there were inserts like autographs or memorabilia, so our focus would be on the players. Michael Jordan was, of course, the prime pull because he was and is the best basketball player of all time. Naturally, Dad also picked a few packs for himself of a bit nicer brand but, hey, it was his money. We would have to wait until we got home to open the packs and the anticipation, though it was only for a few blocks, was intense. We would run inside and sit at the table and peel open the sealed packs of cards. To this day, opening packs is one of the greatest pleasures in life, in my opinion. We would study the players and laugh and grouse depending on who we got that day. I'll never forget the reaction my dad had when he pulled out a Grant Hill insert that was worth about eighty dollars. This card thing went on through middle school, though less frequently since we had moved by that time, and faded away as we got older. Still, every so often, we would find a place, open some packs or boxes, and share the same excitement we had shared those decades ago. I'm not sure that we'll ever get back to that sort of habit again. Not for lack of desire, but the pricing of cards has gone from reasonable to a bit pricey to ludicrous. It's a shame and it's a change that makes me sad. But we will never lack for memories with them. So, what can this story tell us about our relationship with God? Simple. There will be times when we will be excited and passionate about church and going every week and going to Sunday School and youth group or Bible study or any other number of activities. Then, there will be times where we don't prioritize that as much. Maybe we don't have a church home that fits. Maybe other things have gotten in the way. Life happens. However, when we return, we can always find that same excitement and fulfillment that we did before, even if it's years later. Opening packs is about hope that you'll find something special. Going to church and sharing your life with God is about hope that you can celebrate forever with Him in Heaven. So, I'll leave you today with a verse about hope. Jeremiah 29:11For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Peace and love to you all.
It's Monday now. We're all back to work and are beginning our shift into what will pass as our normal lives from now on. It's a strange feeling and a bit empty, but we will continue to grow and heal together and with you all. On behalf of my entire family, I want to extend our unending, bottomless gratitude to each and every one of you. We have enough food to feed multiple armies stuffed into our fridge. We have what feels like the entire cardstock of Hallmark in a bowl on our table where we can read thoughts and prayers and wishes filled with kindness. We have been constantly and, it feels, permanently surrounded by the love and support of thousands of people. In short, we are not alone and have never once felt that we are. As we enter this new time in our lives, there will be times where we will. I know it, my brother knows it, and my mom knows it. There will be tears, yes, but there will be laughter. There will be moments of sadness, but there will be days of telling stories and going for walks around the block and simply living. We may feel alone but we can just look at all the love that we have received over the past month or so and we can recognize that we still are covered with the grace and support from everyone in our lives, not to mention that of God the Father. This weekend brought us closer to people than we have been in a long time, and we are so thankful for the opportunity. As sad as the entire time has been, there has been happiness and I choose to focus on those moments. This blog is going nowhere. I made a promise to many people at the service that Randy is not going away from your lives. He may not be here with us physically, but his memory and stories of his life will live on for as long as we can share them. He was as much a part of all your lives as he was of ours and I, for one, am going to ensure that continues. As always, I'm going to leave you with a prayer, this time of gratitude. God of all blessings, source of all life, giver of all grace in all things, I want to thank you for the gift of life, for the breath that sustains life, for the food of this earth that nurtures life, and for the love of family and friends without which there would be little happiness in life. I thank you for the beauty of creation of this great Earth, for the joy that the ear may hear, for the unknown that we cannot behold filling the universe with wonder, and for the expanse of space that draws us beyond the definitions of our selves. Everything in my life, and the life that surrounds me was drawn and created by Your own hand. For this, I am grateful. Amen. Love to you all, Aaron, Adam, and Cheri Peace and love to you all.
Thank you, as always, for your thoughts and prayers. As a reminder for anyone interested, the celebration of life for my dad Randy is at 10:30 AM (Central time) tomorrow at Fargo First United Methodist Church. If you're unable to attend (which is absolutely okay!), we will be streaming the service for everyone. You will be able to find the stream in two places: 1) Fargo First United Methodist Church's website: Home (firstumcfargo.org) 2) FFUMC's Facebook page: Fargo First United Methodist Church | Facebook. We love you all. Peace and love to you all.
Day by day, things get a little easier. Well, maybe not easier but they seem to hurt just a tiny bit less. We've spent a considerable amount of time putting together the funeral service and details - order, hymns, obituary, flowers, the works - and it is both exhausting and a little satisfying, in a weird way. Things still don't seem quite real, but we are hanging in there. Everyone we have talked to and worked with has been spectacular and kind, which has helped all the more. Now to get working on my eulogy... As an update for those of you who will be unable to attend in person (which we understand because time and distance and travel and finances), we have confirmed that we will be streaming the service for everyone. You will be able to find the stream in two places: 1) Fargo First United Methodist Church's website: Home (firstumcfargo.org) 2) FFUMC's Facebook page: Fargo First United Methodist Church | Facebook We hope that any and every one of you who wants to be a part of our celebration of Randy's life tune in and are able to participate in the sadness and the joy we will feel. Thank you all for all you have done for us and the love and support we have received. It has helped more than we can explain. I'll leave you with a prayer of gratitude and praise. Generous Father, thank you that, by you, all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible. I praise you with all of my heart for your love for me. I thank you for all your wonderful deeds. I worship you for the gift of salvation. I glorify you for my secure, eternal future with you. According to your abundant mercy, you have caused me to be born again into a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Let me continuously praise you. In your powerful name, Amen. Peace and love to you all.
I'm posting this picture because it stood and still stands in Randy's office. He would also look at it and feel it because he loved all of us so very much. We feel that way for all of you. We have been hurting, do hurt, and will hurt for a long, long time. But we have been blessed, truly blessed, to have you all praying for us and texting or commenting your love and support and simply being there for us in this time. We could hardly have endured without your arms around us, and we will never be able to express the depths of our gratitude for all of you in our lives. We also don't intend to let this blog slip away. We can't guarantee an entry every day but, you know, we're going to do our best. We're going to continue to share stories and wonderful times with Randy. We're going to share our heartbreaks and low days and feel your kindness. This website is not going to be maintained in Randy's memory but in his honor. We hope you continue to bless us with your presence and your love. I'll leave you today with a prayer of gratitude for all of you. Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have bestowed on my life. You have provided me with more than I could ever have imagined. You have surrounded me with people who always look out for me. You have given me family and friends who bless me every day with kind words and actions. They lift me up in ways that keep my eyes focused on you and make my spirit soar. Peace and love to you all.
It's been a difficult many hours since Randy's passing, but we have been so thankful for all the love and compassion that you have shown us, from Facebook messages to texts to comments here on this blog. We have felt the love of God through each and every one of you. This morning, we met with the funeral home and locked down some details for the funeral and I'd like to share those with you now. Date: Saturday, March 19 Location: First United Methodist Church 906 1st Ave S, Fargo, ND 58103 Times: 8:30 or 9 - 10:15 - Visitation with the family 10:30 - Service After the service, the reception with a light snack/meal Things are still slightly fluid, but those details are what we are going with at this point in time. We would love any and everyone who wants to and is able to attend to do so, but we understand completely if time, finances, or circumstances mean that you cannot. You are loved and cherished by us regardless. I'll leave you with a prayer today. Bless those who mourn, eternal God, with the comfort of your love that they may face each new day with hope and the certainty that nothing can destroy the good that has been given. May their memories become joyful, their days enriched with friendship, and their lives encircled by your love. - Vienna Cobb Anderson Peace and love to you all.
This morning, around approximately 9:10 AM, our father and husband, Randy, passed on to his great reward. The passing was quick, calm, and he felt no pain. It was as peaceful as we could have hoped. We are devastated. Heartbroken. But we feel at peace as we know that he is happy and alive up in Heaven with His Creator and his parents, Mom's parents, and his brother. We do not have all the specifics as to the funeral service or anything like that as of yet, but we are fighting through our sadness and pain to put those together. As soon as we know the details, we will put them here and on our Facebooks. If you need or want to contact us, you can reach out (call or text) to Adam or me at either 615-310-7748 (Adam) or 615-719-0282 (Aaron) and we will get back to you when we are able to. Please let us know who you are when you do! Be prepared for one heck of a celebration, as that is what we and Dad would have loved. I will leave you today with a Psalm that has been running through my head all morning. It is Psalm 118:24. This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. Peace and love to you all.
This is difficult to say. It has been a long day. Long week and a half, to be honest. However, after hours of prayer, hours of discussion, hours of considering every option, and hours of working with and consulting with professionals, Mom, Adam, and I have come to the decision that none of us could have dreamed of making even two weeks ago. We have decided to let Dad go to his eternal rest. Tomorrow, the three of us will go to the hospital and agree to move his care from life support to comfort care. From that point, it will be up to his body and God. Over the years, he was present at countless hospital bedsides and officiated countless funerals and the one thing he continued to say over and over and over again, even a month ago, was that he did not and would not ever want to be simply existing in a hospital room. He didn't want to be fed life through a tube and simply just be when an eternity with his God in Heaven was waiting for him. He said in no uncertain terms that he did not want to be in that position. We have decided to honor his wishes. We have been preparing for the last week and are ready. Well, as ready as we can ever be in a moment like this. The amount of love that has embraced us this last week has been immense and, as a man in service to God for well over forty years and someone who was dedicated to the Lord from the time he was eight years old, he has been already preparing and pushing to get to the greatest place imaginable. Please understand that we have not arrived at this decision lightly. It has taken tears the amount of which could drown a city and agreement after agreement to make sure we were on the same page. This outcome will leave a hole in our hearts and our lives that will exist forever. Yet, we're jealous too, because Dad gets to go up and hassle God and swap words with Shakespeare and talk about crocks and antiques with those that created them. He gets to move without pain and cook perfect steaks with corn and celebrate the glory beyond every single day from now until forever. It hurts. It hurts beyond measure and it will hurt for years in the future, but we will live our lives. We have to. He would be furious if we didn't. Your prayers and your love and your support have been appreciated more than we can say but we will need every ounce of care you have in the next couple days. When the time comes, I will post up an announcement about his passing and, when we have made arrangements for the service, we will list details here and on our Facebooks and everywhere possible because we want everyone to come and celebrate the life of our father and husband. Until then, we ask for your prayers, your love, and your kindness as we navigate these last few days. God bless you all. Jesus, You said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4, NIV). I am mourning; send me Your comfort now. Wrap Your arms around me and hold me tight. Send angels of mercy to me. Shower Your comfort on me through those around me. Amen. |
AuthorAfter 43 years of ministry, Randy Cross lived his "fourth life" and shared about retirement, living boldly and intentionally in our world. To be sure, there was some North Dakota thrown in. Archives
March 2023
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