Peace and love to you all.
It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote, I know, but truth be told, there's not a lot going on right now. We're working, we're eating relatively healthily, and we're simply surviving. Notice I didn't say 'living' because, frankly, right now it doesn't feel like we are. We go about our day to day lives with relative normalcy, but there is a hole that is never going to be filled and we are having to figure out how to maneuver around it simply to get through the day sometimes. We've packed some things away. Clothes and the like. It's too tough to look at sometimes. We haven't gotten a lot further than that, but it's something.
We're all just tired. Tired of things coming up. The aftermath from Dad's passing and subsequent gnarls of bureaucracy we've had to try to untangle. Car issues. Private medical concerns. The weather being gray and gross and rainy and the kind of dreary that just sucks the life out of your bones to the point you only want to stay inside, curl up in a blanket, and forget that the world exists for a while.
I made the joke a couple of days ago that I wondered if we had upset some sacred burial ground or something recently, given the extreme spate of unpleasantness we've gone through over the past two months, but it's of course just that: a joke. We aren't being punished. We aren't being tormented. It's simply life being life and having to deal with all of it. That does not, however, mean it does not suck.
Where does that leave us? Well, I'm going to try to get back to doing this more often, but I make no promises. What I can say, at least for myself, is this: I am ready to see some light in our lives.
I'll leave you with a Bible verse and the hope that May brings that light to us.
For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness.
After 43 years of ministry, Randy Cross lived his "fourth life" and shared about retirement, living boldly and intentionally in our world. To be sure, there was some North Dakota thrown in.