I learned two things concerning Christmas during my having-little-sons era: one is that about this time in October, it was critical to start asking the question, “What do you want for Christmas?” Of course, the answers that came were as numerous, as the Bible says, of grains of sand on the beach. Basically, if you were to take a giant chainsaw, and carve off all the dolls section of any Toys R Us store, the remaining piece would be the answer to our question. Any and everything that even remotely smelled like “boy” was fair game. Cars, trucks, planes, action figures, Lego sets, dinosaurs, anything that makes a significant amount of noise and distracting light strobes or can turn into a world-class dramatic story for boys under 10 years old was all included in the “ask.” And there was no reason to go into the silly question of, “Ok – but what do you REALLY want?” The question had already been asked, and answered. Everything…
However, it was always at this point in the season that parents are required to fine-tune their radar pickups, to begin to discern that, although everything would be a great present, the boys’ attention seemed to be focusing more and more on a few truly treasured items. For instance, I remember the year that Aaron began to mention the Lego set of Forbidden Island… I’ve talked about this before, but that Christmas really did seem to hit the ball out of the park, present-wise, as Santa sifted through everything and loud and clear, kept hearing about pirates and sharks and trap doors on Lego prisons. When that special morning came, the rest of the toy store didn’t matter – Aaron got what he truly had hoped for. A few years later, when things got a bit more expensive, and impossible to find, Adam asked for a special video game platform, that simply didn’t exist in our known world. Unbeknownst to him, “Santa” had found and secured one about this time in October, and simply stashed it away. This of course was the riskiest of moves, because something asked for in October could very well become something that is just boring when something else new came about in November… Still, “Santa” trusted his gut, and while for nearly two months we carefully and pseudo-mournfully kept telling Adam that, “Well, those are really just impossible to find –maybe something else would be worthwhile…” You could see Adam’s countenance fall (it’s a great biblical word that means everything you hope and dream about, that becomes a long-term goal to make life sweet…), and he did mention some other, far-lesser things that would make Christmas that year more than likely not stink… I have never seen an offspring of mine go through such cheers and screams as we did watching Adam open that one gift at that one moment in time, as he fully believed he was not going to receive one, and there it was, sitting in his hands. I think the words, “No way!” were spoken a good 500 times… good Christmas. So, the challenge has always been to carefully listen and screen out the “yeah, that would be a good present I guess…” from the “Oh, man – among all the things I could receive, THIS one is the top of the pile…” The boys of course have changed their strategy as they moved to adulthood. We never hear the word, “Hot Wheels” or “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” anymore. No, instead, over the past few years, they have taken to sending us via email “the list” of possible gifts that they would enjoy. Unfortunately, the lists have included items that have grown in both complexity and cost. I mean, when you are staring at a list of things like outdoor propane pizza ovens, or ten terabyte hard drives, or fine art, it becomes a bit more challenging to make wishes come true, and not have to mortgage the house a second time, just for Christmas morning. That, combined with my beloved’s yearly statement of, “Well, we don’t need to go crazy this year – let’s just get a couple of things and let it go at that…” a statement that is made AFTER we have invited, and received the lists from the boys who still can imagine and dream of a fantastic Christmas present experience. The key to it all? Never let your wife know exactly how much “Santa” has spent on sons this year… One more wrinkle has developed in the Christmas gift experience, starting about two or three years ago. I’ve mentioned before how Cheri and I don’t give Christmas presents to each other, and that’s been a good workable arrangement. However, now that we have adult sons, who have relatively good incomes of their own, the question has been raised, “Well, what do you two want for Christmas?” For decades, this hasn’t been a question I have had to worry about – but now, it haunts me, and Cheri, like a long finger-nailed hand scraping across the door… Oh, sorry – that’s Halloween – but it’s about the same thing. They are relentless in their pursuit to have us answer that question. EVERY night as we tune in to watch a show, the question comes. I frankly have no imagination about “wanting” something, either for Christmas or for birthdays or for Father’s Day, for that matter. Sure – who doesn’t want or need some gold coins, or antique whatever – but especially now, after the deaths of three parents, and the assembling of heirlooms in a house that is already full, what we really need is a significantly large addition to the home, to display and enjoy all the things of our childhood, or even our parents’ childhoods… But that doesn’t stop the “ask.” “We need those lists… we are going to continue asking you until you tell us…” Cheri is absolutely terrible about all of this. Her answer, nightly, is “Well, I don’t know – let me think about it… I just want everyone to be happy…” Sons are not interested in happiness. They are busy trying to figure out what they can put under the tree… So, we trudge through October – it will only get worse as November comes. I hope we can think of somethings, big enough, but not too big, that we haven’t already just purchased on our own, since we can do that as adults. In the meantime, if you have any ideas, please feel free to send them along… You see, I guess it boils down to what sounds like a very noble and selfless approach: I love to give just the right present, but I have real troubles in thinking about whatever it might be that I might want or enjoy myself. What I have to realize is that if the joy comes in giving, then I have no right to rob someone of their own sense of joy by blessing me with something in my life. I just have to find the right thing… In the meantime, maybe I’ll look around for some action figures, or a new Lego set, just in case they end up on the boys’ list… Word for the day: mammock. Pronounced MAM-uck. Not “hammock” – that’s a different word. Actually today’s word is purely southern American, possibly from some of the American tribes in the region, but certainly in use in early settler times. The word has no real etymology, coming from Latin or Greek. It’s just one of those words that is useful in describing something without shading. It means “to break, or to tear or to cut into fragments, or to shred.” In the American South, when something is mangled or mauled (one example talks about a bull that was hit by a train…), it is said that the item has been “mammocked up,” completely ruined. We have all seen things that are best described as “torn to shreds” – if we had only had today’s word handy, we instead could say it is just mammocked…
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AuthorAfter 43 years of ministry, Randy Cross lived his "fourth life" and shared about retirement, living boldly and intentionally in our world. To be sure, there was some North Dakota thrown in. Archives
March 2023
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